Why Is It So Hard To Be Kind?
I recently watched a video of a famous person addressing an article written by a pastor who felt it necessary to bash said famous person. Really? Why? For a rebuttal this celebrity addressed the issue, they were kind, and funny all at the same time. It made me think how easy it is to be kind, and yet, many times we choose to be unkind in exchange. As a Christian we are called to love, be honorable, and to be kind to others.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
-Colossians 3:12
Kindness is not a suggestion. Kindness is a command.
Let’s apply this to marriages.
So many times I’ve witnessed a husband or a wife treating their spouse with such distain and disrespect I wanted to scream, STOP! PLEASE STOP!
And if it’s me being unkind it’s even worse. Yes, sadly, I’ve witnessed being unkind to my husband. JUST STOP! PLEASE!
I always know when I’m being harsh, and yet, sometimes I will make the choice anyway. Why? Why do I make such a destructive choice? Perhaps it’s because I’ve made poor choices with regard to self-care—not spending enough time with God or not getting the recharge time I need.
When I’m hurting inside, it seeps out and pours on my husband. If I’ve buried an emotional issue it inevitably pops up. Issues not dealt with can cause havoc in one’s life…and marriage.
What’s the cure?
We first must be kind to ourselves.
When we fill ourselves with God’s love it will then transfer over. Love pours streaming out and overflowing on those we love. But on the contrary, if we don’t practice good self-care, and lack time with God, we will be at a deficit, and not able to be our best selves.
As soon as we identify a hurt or a need or any issue we need to tend to it—immediately! For if we don’t it will boil up and out. And that’s not good for anyone.
Do you agree?
If unkind words and judgements are spewing out of us there’s a heart issue we must attend to and hand over to God for repair.
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
-Psalm 139:23-24
Fondly,
Lu
Lucille Williams is the author of “From Me to We: A Premarital Guide for the Bride- and Groom- to- Be” order a copy today and give your marriage a boost to go the distance. Give us your email and subscribe to Lu Says today for weekly updates.
