Two of the Top Ten Intimacy Blockers
We’ve all seen it happen. Many of us have done it. We’ll be talking, and then all of a sudden the words coming out of our mouth are toxic. We begin complaining. I’ve done it. I think we’ve all done it.
When it gets really destructive is when…
The topic on the complaining board is our husband.
Once we begin to complain and look for fault with our spouse, and we’ve got an active listener, it’s like an avalanche.
If we look for fault we can find it.
What’s the first step in curtailing this? I have found it is with my thoughts. Once my thoughts go on a negative journey it’s difficult to get them on a better path.
He didn’t to this [fill in the blank].
I didn’t like it when he [fill in the blank].
Why does he always [fill in the blank]?
Pay attention to the thoughts floating around in your head; allowing even the smallest irritation to linger can cause you to feel really irked with him. When a negative thought pops up, like I’m so mad he has to work late again; he doesn’t care about me! try reframing it to something like this: I love my husband’s work ethic; he works so hard for our family.
Resist any negative thoughts about your husband. Recall sweet words he has said to you, a time he forgave you, a time he stopped by the store for you, or a time he didn’t get upset or complain when you took out the fender on his beloved pickup truck with detailed graphics running from the front tires to the back that he spent countless hours getting just the way he liked . . . . Big sigh. I can’t be the only one who’s done this, can I?
What ends up happening when we allow our thoughts to run wild with negativity is that it’s not long until words join our thoughts.
*Please note: I’m not talking about constructive talking. Sometimes we need to find a trusted friend or counselor to process our feelings.
Negative talk and thoughts are deadly to any relationship. Please refrain from talking negatively about your husband. And please don’t indulge those who do.
Negative talk creates negative opinions…
Negative opinions create negative emotions.
Negative emotions lead to no sex…
And no sex can lead to a not-so-exciting marriage.
Who wants that?
No, thank you, please.
Exchange negative thoughts for positive ones and find something about your husband for which you are grateful.
Start a “this is why I love my husband” list and read through it every time you find yourself stuck in a negative thought pattern. It’s always fruitful to remind ourselves of the things we love about our beloved. You’ll be glad you did.
Two of the top ten intimacy blockers are…
Negative talk and thoughts.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
– Philippians 4:8
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