The Yellow Brick Road to Divorce
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Warning: This may be offensive.
The yellow brick road to divorce:
- Showing him no respect
- Insulting him in front of his friends (Why can’t he take a joke?)
- Poor self-care…physically or emotionally
- Being his mommy (But if he didn’t act like a child I wouldn’t have to!)
- Finding something to complain about every day
- Making the kids a priority over him
- Not embracing his family
- Forgetting to thank him for the little things he does…i.e., mowing the lawn or picking up his socks
- Talking about all the “fancy and expensive” things your friends have
- Being “intimate” with him but not enjoying it (Hey, he should just be happy that I am willing!)
- Hitting him with, “These kids are driving me crazy! It’s your turn to deal with them!” as soon as he comes through the door
- Being critical of him verbally or in your mind
- Not giving him any alone time for himself
- Complaining about him to your friends (He’s a terrible husband. I have to get support from somewhere!)
- Never giving him anything tantalizing to look at (I know men are visual, but I hate wearing that stuff!)
- Getting mad at him when he expresses his sexual wants and needs
- Placing “bedroom fun” low on your priority scale
- Complaining about all the hours he works instead of praising him for how hard he works
- Making a big fuss when he casually notices the pretty woman passing by instead of understanding that he may need some “alone” time with you
- Flirting with his friends or your co-workers
- Incessantly complaining about your physique and not doing anything to be healthy
- Talking to him like he is one of your girlfriends
- Keeping a record of all you do for him and compare it to what he does for you
- Expecting him to meet expectations and desires that you have locked in your mind and then getting mad at him because “he should know!”
- Waiting silently for birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays hoping for certain gifts or “surprises” and then getting mad at him because he doesn’t come through
- Manipulating him to get what you want
- Refusing to wait for his timing with regard to decisions and making them yourself because “he is taking too long”
- Criticizing his performance in the bedroom
- Expecting him to meet all of your needs
- Not forgiving him
The good news is you can turn it around today, if you need to. It is never too late.
Wise words indeed.
Thank you so much!!!
Very convicting, Lu! This is my first visit to your blog and I like what I see! Thanks for reminding me of what “not” to do. Sometimes these fly under the radar and “feel” justified, don’t they? I do have a question about one of them – why do you say that talking to him like he’s a girlfriend is wrong? I’m guilty of this, but don’t know exactly why you think it’s a bad idea. 🙂
First, thank you so much for your comment and kind words. As far as “talking to him like he is your girlfriend” I think many women talk, talk, and talk and we out-word our husbands to a point of exhaustion. When I am getting to this point my husband will graciously say, “Honey, I think you need to call one of your friends.” I understand what this means and I am not offended. It keeps him from feeling “trapped” by my many words and keeps me from having my feelings hurt by a “maybe” not so encouraging comment from him. We gals can sometimes talk for a mile-a-minute for miles at a time. I know I can. My husband likes to talk but there is a limit to how much talking he likes to do and I always try to be sensitive to that and not take offense when he doesn’t want to talk anymore.
Actually it is not offensive, it’s an eye opener for every married couple. I got 4 out of 30. I don’t do it most of the time but I know I did it at one point of our marriage life. And the good news is I can turn it around today. It’s kinda hard on my part but I want us to be happily married always and forever! Yeah, It’s never too late and I am willing to change some of my bad habits as early as now… 🙂
Thanks for your comment! I love your outlook and attitude. Good for you for being willing to make changes, I find myself in that same boat often!
Great advice! There’s so many good ones I don’t even know which ones to comment about, lol!
I like the girlfriend one because my hubby is not geared to talk “girltalk.” It just doesn’t interest him. He doesn’t want to debate endlessly on which cleaning product I should buy or which shoes look better, lol! He opinion is it doesn’t matter, just buy what you like whereas a girlfriend will be like “Well, this is good for this and that would be good for that,” etc.
I also totally agree with letting him have some downtime when he comes home rather than hitting him up with some big discussion right away. Things go better when he gets to unwind first! Thanks so much for linking up to “Making Your Home Sing Monday” today! 🙂
Thank you! I appreciate your comment, it sounds like you have everything under control.