Staying Connected With Your Spouse During the Christmas Season

Christmas can feel like we are spinning plates. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a wonderful time of year, and it’s also a very busy time of year. Through all the busyness, how do you remember your one and only?

I just got back from being out of town. Yeah, can you believe I was gone for almost two weeks during the holiday season? Hey, Grandma’s go to see her grand-babies. I. Just. Do. But when I got back home, my husband and I have seemed out of sync. We were in a real connected harmonious marriage grove before I left and after returning we’ve been “clawing” to get it back.

We haven’t been clicking like we were. It’s really kind of sad. We’ve been misunderstanding each other. Snapping for no reason. More intense than usual. It’s rather out of the ordinary for us. And I’m trying to figure out why, and more importantly, how to fix it.

First, I am not going to blame him or consider what he needs to do. All I can do is look within and figure how I can be different to create an environment that’s different.

So, how does one do that?

Truthfully, I’ve been a bit self-focused since I’ve been back. I came home fighting a cold and it’s left me grumpy. I suppose it’s understandable, but in life there will often be factors to use to “excuse” poor behavior, which is not a good habit to get into. Especially in marriage.

Also, the stresses of so much more to do during this season has played a huge role.

With all the stresses and extra celebrating of Christmas time how do you stay harmonious in your marriage?

Consider your spouse’s perspective.

When we can look at things from a different view, we see differently. Fly away from yourself and glide above the situation and peer in from his perspective. What is he dealing with during this time? Soar over and look in on all of her added responsibilities. An altered view changes everything.

Up your communication skills.

We all know the importance of communication in marriage. During busier, and more stressful seasons, being more detailed with communication is a must. Talk about how you’re feeling and ask for what you’d like. Ask. Don’t demand or expect. But ask. You may be surprised by what your beloved would be happy to help you with.

Be strategic about carving out time for each other.

When things get busy we tend to get lax in planning time together. Take a time out for each other and go get some coffee or plan a date night. Take time to connect.

Remember this will pass.

Sometimes the best thing we can do is keep a good attitude, ride it out, and enjoy the magic of the season. How many times have we “missed” what could have been highlight memories because we weren’t present? Oftentimes the fix for a lack of connection is just simply to be present.

As for me, I’ve got a turnaround to make, coupled with an apology. Out of sync? I am going to change me to change the situation. It’s time to be about being the best version of me, and the best wife I can be.

Merry Christmas, friend!

Fondly,

Lu

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