One Wedding, Two Loving Dads

I was sitting at my kitchen table while my husband was Skyping a soon-to-be bride. Not just any bride, this once little girl had asked my husband to officiate her wedding because he was her pastor when she was a kid. Her grandmother had brought her to church on a regular basis and now that she was getting married she wanted the pastor she remembered as a child.

He was asking the normal questions, and I wasn’t really listening until I heard these words:

“Who will be walking you down the aisle?”

“My dad and my step dad.”

Her dad AND her step dad?!

Like a flood that no damn could stop, tears started rolling down my face. Those six words held incredible meaning for me.

Why was I so affected by those six little words?

First, this little girl had grown up with a split home. At some point her parents had divorced and my heart hurt for this little girl who had no doubt been through many difficult days. Even in the best of situations divorce devastates not only the husband and wife who are splitting, but the kids and families involved too. We had no idea when this faithful grandmother was dropping this little girl off each week for kids church the impact each week was making on this young life.

Next, based on the fact that both her dad and step dad would be walking her to her future husband screams that the adults in this scenario put aside whatever differences, and put this little girl first. Obviously, both dads are willing to share the spot light on this special day. And this says a lot about both of these men.

I’ve seen so often in divorce situations where one or both parents hinder the relationship their ex-spouse has with their children. No matter what the circumstance, putting innocent children, who are already hurting and confused, in the middle of a battle between mom and dad is cruel. Parents who really love their kids will help foster a relationship with the other parent. Bashing the other parent hurts the child because the child sees themselves as an extension of both parents.

When one digs at, or hurts their ex, it hurts their kids.

A parent who realizes this will be sensitive in creating an environment where the child can freely love both parents. It’s hard enough on these little loves, why would any parent make a difficult situation even more difficult? And yet, some do.   

Lastly, her step dad was like a “natural” dad to her. Why else would she want him to walk her down the aisle along with her dad?

Any man who is willing to step into a family and be a dad is an exceptional man. So many men today are running from their families and their responsibilities as a father. I’ve heard of many divorce situations where dad takes off leaving mom to raise the kids. Some dads don’t physically run but they run emotionally. Either by working so much that they hardly see their kids or by chasing new relationships to the degree they check out. Whatever the case, any dad who steps up and does his best to be a present and faithful father builds into generations for eternity. And any man who does this for a little girl who he himself did not “birth” is exemplary.

I’ve looked in many tear-filled eyes telling of the pain of a dad who just wasn’t there.

And so, this young lady didn’t have just one dad who was present and loved her, she had two. This is why I was overcome with emotion by the thought of two dads putting their best feet forward as they walk down an aisle.

With all the terrible stories I’ve heard about divorce and abandonment it was refreshing and inspiring to hear one which shed light on the goodness of two men who love one little girl.

What difficult circumstances are you facing today?

Anytime you are faced with a decision to choose kindness over hate, choose love.

Anytime you are faced with a decision to choose selfishness over other-centeredness, choose love.

Anytime you are faced with a decision to choose forgiveness over resentment, choose love.

May we always walk in love.

“Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

-Ephesians 5:1-2

Lord God, help me to love the way You love me. Guide me to make decisions that honor You. Help me to not only look out for my own good but to look out for others and yield my will to Your will. May my life be a reflection of love and devotion to my husband, my family, and to all You put in my path to love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Fondly,

Lu

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