Marriage At Its Worst–Or Maybe Best

My husband and I were in the kitchen. Our son said, “This is awkward, something doesn’t feel right between you two.”

He was right.

We were acting “normal” but he could feel the uneasiness. And where did this uneasiness come from? A conflict. We were in the middle of a conflict.

He hurt my feelings. I hurt his feelings. And we were going about our day trying to act like everything was “normal.” My husband and I ended up having breakfast together on our front porch and talking through our issue, and everything was happy again.

But after, I realized something I had never noticed before.

A lightbulb went on.

When we are in that tension between feeling hurt-misunderstood-discounted-frustrated and sitting down and talking through the conflict, there’s something we both do in the meantime.

I seriously had never noticed this before, and have come to realize that this vital fundamental tool is a huge key in happily-ever-after.

Are you curious what it is?

We treat each other really kind and cordial, and do really nice things for each other. Now, for clarification purposes, we are not our usual lovey-dovey selves as evidenced by our son noticing the cloud of conflict in the air. But we remain cordial and kind.

For instance.

He will do the dishes.

He will run errands for me.

He will offer to help me with projects.

He’ll tell me that I look nice.

He will look for ways to put my desires above his own.

I will compliment him.

I will cook breakfast for him.

I will take on tasks that he usually does.

I’ll bring him coffee.

I will kiss him on the cheek. (Note: the kiss is on the cheek and not the lips, I wouldn’t want to send the wrong message if you know what I mean. A conversation will have to happen to get to our 100%.)

When we do get to the point of talking and communicating our wants and desires and working through our disagreement, having treated each other well makes it go much easier and quicker. Just because we are hurt or angry with the other doesn’t mean we can then treat them poorly.

What do you think?

Can you give this a try?

The next time you have a disagreement with your loved one treat them with kindness. Look for ways to have your actions say they are you’re number one. Do nice things for them.

See if that doesn’t add a boost to your marriage.

I’m guessing it will.

Fondly,

Lu

For more great marriage tools pick up or order a copy of “From Me to We” by Lucille Williams. Let’s me friends! Subscribe to LuSays today.