Marriage and Paying It Forward
“I want you to listen to this song,” my husband said, “if I had to pick a wedding song today, this would be it.”
On our wedding day we danced to “our song.” It was in the 80s and very popular, “Endless Love” by Lionel Richie.
It was perfect. It has always been our perfect song. Our perfect song for over 42 years.
And now, he wants to change it. I wondered what song he was going to play.
Marriage is one of those covenants, one of those institutions, one of those forever promises, that if you dig in and put in the work it will pay off. Well, it should pay off. Dividends deposited over and over bring in the reward. Well, that’s how it should be.
There’s one thing I did for many years and I never knew if it would be something that would ever come back. Or would be a “deposit” that would stand the mark of time. I didn’t do it to get something back.
I did this one thing because I wanted to, because I loved doing it, because it brought me joy.
When my husband would pull into the driveway of our home, on most days—if I knew he was on his way home—I would run out (literally) to greet him. I was genuinely excited to see him and I loved greeting him.
My kids would sometimes play games with me…
“Mom,” my boys would say while looking out the window, “Dad’s home!”
I’d run out to find he wasn’t. I’d come back in the house and they’d laugh. I’d laugh with them. I fell for it over and over…until it wasn’t a joke anymore and Dad was really home.
I suppose it was good exercise, and definitely a good laugh.
Now that I’m the one who’s coming home at the end of the day and he’s recovering from his heart attack—yeah, heart attack!—if you missed that post you can read it HERE, when I turn on our street each day I can see that the garage door is open.
And he’s outside waiting for me.
My sweet husband is waiting for me. I’ve never asked this of him and I never thought it was going to be turned around like it has, but here we are, and there he is being amazing and outside and showing his forever promise.
And I’m excited to see him, just like when I was the one running out to greet him.
It feels like a marriage pay it forward thing.
Now, before I mislead you… Do we have the perfect marriage? No, a thousand times no. Do we have conflicts? Yes, a thousand times yes. Do we resolve our conflicts? Yes, absolutely, yes. That is the key. Resolving conflicts and not allowing them to fester and cause havoc on love and allow it to make way for bitterness. Resolution is the key.
If we think about it, everything we do in our marriage is a “paying it forward” thing. “For whatever a person sows, this he will also reap” (Galatians 6:7b NASB). We reap what we sow. Amen?
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
– Mark 10:9
And that brings me back to the song…
“Our new wedding song” if we were getting married again today.
The song he played was:
“Just The Way” by Parmalee, and we slow danced in our kitchen as tears welled up in my eyes.
Do you feel as though you’re in a season of “paying it forward” in your marriage? Or perhaps in another dear relationship? Remember Galatians 6:7 and stay the course. You will reap in some way.
For more from Lucille Williams on marriage check out her books, From Me to We, and The Intimacy You Crave. Have kids? Order a copy of The Impossible Kid: Parenting a Strong-Willed Child with Love and Grace or Turtle Finds His Talent for ages 2-6. Subscribe to LuSays today for regular encouragement.
