LIVING THE GOLDEN RULE WITH OUR KIDS
“Treat people the same way you want them to treat you.” Luke 6:31 (NASB)
There was a season in my life where all three of my kids were attending different schools. The daily drop off and pickup could become stressful and overwhelming. You can imagine what mornings looked like.
There was one particular morning while dropping my youngest child, Joey, off at his elementary school I made a really poor choice. I was trying to save time so that Tim, my middle child, wouldn’t be late to high school. I drove through the bus loop. I can hear your gasp. I knew it was wrong but did it anyway. There were no buses around. Whatever. Joey got out of my car, and an angry school monitor tried to yell something through my car window. Not wanting the confrontation, mixed with not knowing what to say, I kept driving.
I thought I had escaped being confronted with my unkind act.
Then, I heard these words, “That was rude!” Tim admonished. “What if everyone drove through the bus loop?”
Busted!
He was right. I couldn’t whatever my way out of this one.
My response: “It was better than saying what was on my mind.”
This confession incriminated me more as I dug myself a deeper hole.
Poor Joey got the brunt of it, though, because the lady yelled at him when I drove off. Great job, Mom. Tim was right to call me out.
This breaking of the rules to save time was a horrible example for my kids. I didn’t follow the rules. These rules were there for everyone’s safety. I didn’t respect the school monitor. I wasn’t living out the golden rule. I wasn’t treating others with respect or kindness.
Later that day God spoke to my heart, and I felt horrible about my actions that morning.
“Search me, God, and know my heart; Put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there is any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”
– Psalm 139:23-24 (NASB)
After school I apologized to my kids and let them know I wouldn’t do it again. If I hadn’t acknowledged my slipup and owned it, I would have been seen as a hypocrite and a phony. I’d like to think that even if my son had not called me out, I would have gotten to the same conclusion between me and God.
This was a story my kids told over and over, adding to the Mom’s Faux Pas list. I was painfully aware that I couldn’t be perfect, but I could be transparent and real. That I could do. When my kids saw an inconsistency between my actions and my words, I did my best to own it.
I can say anything, but what I do screams volumes. My conduct needed to reflect God’s love, patience, and kindness. Modeling grace, honesty, and mercy teaches grace, honesty, and mercy.
“One who walks in integrity walks securely, but one who perverts his ways will be found out.”
– Proverbs 10:9 (NASB)
“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”
– Colossians 3:12 (NASB)
I learned the golden rule applied to parenting, and it became my gentle guide.
Think back to when you were a kid. Now consider Luke 6:31: “Treat people the same way you want them to treat you.” What did you want from your parents? Most of us wanted honesty, transparency, kindness, consideration, safety, and to be known and loved. We wanted a place that was safe and a place where we could make mistakes.
Look at John 18 and how Peter denied Jesus three times. Yet, when Jesus spoke to Peter in John 21 on the Sea of Tiberias, Jesus asked about fish, entreated the disciples to “cast the net,” invited, “Come and have breakfast,” and asked Peter, “Do you love me?” Not once, considering Peter had denied Jesus, did Jesus say, “Peter, how could you?”
What a beautiful example of the golden rule.
When we walk in integrity, keep promises, and do our best to live by the golden rule, we point our children to a Heavenly Father they can trust.
I’m thankful for a Heavenly Father who accepts me as I am—flaws and all. If you’re a parent, is it sometimes hard to embrace yourself and offer yourself grace? Our kids need grace, and so do we!
For my fellow moms out there: Don’t be too hard on yourself—no one knows how to do this mom-thing perfectly, and even if we did, that wouldn’t be good for our kids.
Do you have an impossible kid? Would you like to embrace and enjoy your parenting journey as you guide your child to love Jesus? The Impossible Kid: Parenting a Strong-Willed Child with Love and Grace by Lucille Williams can help. Pick up a copy HERE. And for your marriage, From Me to We, and The Intimacy You Crave. Also available, Turtle Finds His Talent for ages 2-6. We invite you to subscribe to LuSays today for regular encouragement.
Catch Lucille Williams on Focus on the Family, “Teaching Children to Celebrate their Strengths” which airs on May 21, 2024. The streaming audio of this broadcast will appear on Focus on the Family episode page at this address: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/episodes/broadcast/teaching-children-to-celebrate-their-strengths/ and a video version will also be featured on the Focus on the Family YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/user/FocusOnTheFamilyUSA/videos.
