Let’s Talk about Marriage…and Intimacy

In the very beginning of falling in love—those butterfly stomach, heart racing encounters—it seems so easy and natural to make time for each other. Then you get married and the years roll by and the kids come and the in-laws show up unannounced and you’re busy. Sometimes as our love progresses we can put aside spending time together. Oh, tomorrow. Next week. Next…

I don’t know what season you’re in. Perhaps you are raising kids and they seem to consume all of your energy.

Or maybe you are in a deep pursuit of moving ahead in your career and making your dreams happen.

Or you’re focused on ministry and serving others. 

Maybe you or your spouse are dealing with medical issues and/or on medication which zaps you.

Perhaps you’ve gotten older and grandkids are what gets most of your attention and affection.

These are all great and wonderful things…

Or maybe you’re just tired.

Or maybe your energy seems to disappear quickly.

Yes, whatever season you’re in, maybe your love life, as in, fun in the physical intimacy department has gone by the wayside.

Could the answer be to schedule “fun” dates?

Now stay with me…

We’ve all heard to put date nights on the calendar, well, maybe, along with those date nights also schedule “fun” dates. Every marriage can benefit from a little horizontal hokey-pokey.

We all want this “fun” time to happen spontaneously, as spontaneous as rolling out of bed, but what if it’s just not happening? What if the spark has blown out? What if those heart racing moments are long gone?

If you both schedule “fun dates” like you would any other appointment you can plan, prepare, and day-dream about your upcoming jingle-jangle time. And in the meantime, if it happens spontaneously then just add that to the fun schedule.

Take out those calendars with your spouse and schedule the “fun” once a week or twice a week or for you overachievers, wink wink, three times a week.

There’s no confusion. You both agree on the time. You will keep your marriage fun and fresh and engaging. And if you’re thinking that this will take the romance out of the love equation, I’d say just try it and then rate your overall love life as a couple.

What can it hurt?

Things that are important to us we make a priority, and wouldn’t you say that those we love most need to be a priority in our lives?

We can apply this concept of scheduling what’s important to all of our relationships.

Maybe you haven’t seen your dearest friends in a long time. Schedule time.

Maybe you wish you could see your kids more? Schedule time.

Maybe you haven’t talked with beloved family members in a while? Make that call. Schedule time.

What’s important goes on our calendars.

“Time is your most precious gift, because you only have a set amount of it.” – Rick Warren

“So, then, be careful how you live. Do not be unwise but wise, making the best use of your time because the times are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”

– Ephesians 5:15-17

Do you want to set your marriage on fire? The Intimacy You Crave: Straight Talk about Sex and Pancakes by Lucille Williams brings relatable, real-life stories of everyday women that will challenge and equip you to work toward a greater intimacy that infiltrates every area of your married life. Pick up a copy HERE. As the holiday season approaches you may know someone who’s getting engaged, From Me to We would make a perfect gift. GET a copy HERE.For tools to parent your strong-willed child orderThe Impossible Kid: Parenting a Strong-Willed Child with Love and Grace.And for little ones Turtle Finds His Talent for ages 2-6.