Learning How to Embrace Life From My Grandkids

“Go plane! Go plane!” Lincoln screams every time he hears my voice. Whether FaceTime or speaker phone my little three year old grandson knows that in order to see grandma one of us has to get on a plane.

“I miss Mugga,” little two year old Jacob laments. Jacob prefers calling me Mugga over Grandma. He can say grandma, I’ve heard him, but that name just won’t do. He has to call me Mugga. Soon after a call will come in, “Mom, Jacob is asking for you…” and we make plans to get together.

And then there’s adorable little Allie, just a few months old, who nestles in quickly while I hold her.

With kids life is so much more cut and dry. If they want something, they ask. If they’re upset, they let you know. If they miss you, they tell you. If they are mad, they scream. If they don’t want to do something, they protest.

I am learning how to be more of a happy thriving adult through my grandkids and embrace all of life fully.

Breaking down the lessons:

Just Ask –

I’m learning to ask for what I want and need. As an adult this can be so scary. What if I ask and no one responds? Asking for what we want can leave us vulnerable. With every ask we risk hearing the word no. But we need to ask for what we need and want and be brave enough to risk rejection. The chances of getting what you want and need are significantly higher if you ask.

Express Feelings –

I’m learning to lovingly let others know how I’m feeling. As adults it seems we are taught to leave our feelings to ourselves, and well, basically, suck it up. Sucking it up it’s always the most healthy choice to make for us though, is it?  If I’m upset or if my feelings have been hurt I’m learning to express my feelings. Healthy communication enhances any relationship.

Voice Longing –

I’m learning that it’s okay to let others know that you miss them. When was the last time you heard someone say to you, “I miss you.” I’m guessing it’s rare. Where did we learn that expressing longing for another is unacceptable? When we love people it’s natural to miss them when time, space, or busyness keeps you apart. I need to be bold with my feelings and tell others when my heart longs to see them.

Guard Your Heart –

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

-Proverbs 4:23

I’m learning it’s okay to get mad. Jesus got mad. God got mad. It’s okay to get mad. It’s okay to be angry about mistreatment and rudeness and crudeness. Anger is an emotion God gave us and it’s okay to feel it from time to time. Obviously, becoming a rageaholic and lashing out at every little thing is not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about not stuffing angry feelings down deep letting them fester and causing havoc with our hearts. I’m learning I have to find ways to release my anger in healthy ways.

“BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger.”

-Ephesians 4:26

Notice the Bible does not say to not get angry.

Use Words in a Liberating Way –

I’m learning to express my desires and speak up when I don’t want to do something. One of the most important words we can ever learn, and learn how to use is the word no. I’m learning to exercise that word. When I do this, using the word yes feels so much more meaningful and fulfilling.

As I look over and think about the lessons I am learning from my grandkids, I see how all of these points can be applied to our marriages. And not only to our marriages but in all of our most meaningful relationships.

If you desire something…

ask.

If you’ve been hurt…

express it in a loving way.

If you feel love or longing…

say so.

If you feel anger…

express it in a healthy manner.

If you use the word no…

your yes will be so much more powerful.

When we are born we let out all of our feelings until we are taught that it is not acceptable. As we grow older sometimes we learn to operate in a stifled manner.  I want to be free to embrace life and love fully all of the meaningful relationships God has blessed me with.

Like my grandkids.

May we all learn to love like children.

Fondly,

Lu

Lucille Williams is the author of “From Me to We” and “The Intimacy You Crave.” You can order a copy today HERE. Subscribe to LuSays and get weekly updates.