Is My Teen Too Introverted? Tips for Extraverted Parents to Help Their Teen Branch Out By Andy Earle
Enjoy today’s guest post…
Andy Earle is a researcher who studies parent-teen communication and adolescent risk behaviors. He is the co-founder of talkingtoteens.com and host of the Talking to Teens podcast, a free weekly talk show for parents of teenagers.
As an extraverted parent, it can be a bummer when trying to engage with your introverted teen. It feels like forcing a round peg in a square hole. Many parents have trouble cracking the code to helping their introverted teen develop their social skills. But don’t worry, we’ve got you covered with four awesome tips to help you connect and encourage your teen to branch out.
- Accept That Your Teen Might Be Different Than You
Our first tip is to recognize that you and your teen probably experience the world in very different ways. We think this is a foundational perspective to hold onto when you want to help your teen experience new things. For one, we think you should avoid treating your introverted teen feel like their personality has to be changed. By being accepting of their different outlook, you can encourage growth without trying to make them a different person. Introverts often have a very strong sense of self and will react strongly when someone like a parent makes them doubt their character.
- Meet Them in Their Comfort Zone and Slowly Expand Out
Next, we suggest that you meet your teen where they are comfortable before encouraging them to get out of their comfort zone. For example, ask yourself if your teen is okay with one-on-one time. If that’s the case, encourage a lot of one-on-one time with them doing something they enjoy. Next, try to introduce new one-on-one activities over time. You could also use inspirational talking points to try and spur growth.
After your teen becomes more confident trying out new hobbies or social interactions, you might introduce larger group activities. However, trying to get your introvert to take on a new social challenge, and a new activity simultaneously might be too big of a leap outside of their comfort zone, and they could shut down.
- Don’t Force Big Social Gatherings
It’s important not to force your teen into big social engagements because they could have a strong aversion that reinforces their dislike for socializing. This tip is crucial to keep in mind because a lot of extraverted parents fail to understand how a large, fun, loud party could actually be a nightmare for an introvert. Putting them in uncomfortable situation without their choice might teach them that parties will never be fun, and they will continue to look for excuses to stay in.
While it’s important to help them grow and experience big social gatherings, we recommend that you wait until they’re ready to take on the challenge. For example, if there is a band they really like, maybe suggest that you go to a concert together so your teen will feel eager and willing to get into a large social environment and learn how to enjoy it.
- Look for Mental Health Problems Preventing Joy
It could be the case that your teen is expressing extreme introversion because there is an underlying problem with their mental health, which we recommend you keep an eye out for. Mood problems like social anxiety or depression could be making your teen extra resistant to your attempts to help them branch out. We suggest that you check in with their mood by having open communication about mental health and opportunities to talk to professionals about issues related to mood.
Something else you might want to watch out for is if they are able to have fun on their own. If they feel down even when they are left alone with their favorite hobbies, it could be a sign that their mental health should be evaluated before you encourage them to get out of their comfort zone. It might be that they are simply unhappy, which could make most attempts at new social activities doomed from the start.
Here’s to New Experiences
We hope that these tips help you take a new approach to getting your introvert to get out of their comfort zone. Ensuring that your teen is happy and eager to branch out is key, and it might take baby steps, but you’ll definitely help them try something new that they are sure to love.
Thank you for visiting LuSays, we hope you enjoyed today’s guest post by Andy Earle. For books by Lucille Williams check out “From Me to We” and “The Intimacy You Crave: Straight Talk about Sex and Pancakes” order a copy today to enhance your marriage. Subscribe to LuSays for weekly encouragement.
