Is Marriage Worth the Work?

Usually my husband will send me a text or call when he’s on his way home from work. I was visiting my daughter, and new grandson, and had tried to contact Mike, but couldn’t get through. This is not out of the ordinary, sometimes he just can’t be reached. I was hoping to coordinate arriving home when he did. Finally, I called our home phone. He answered. HE HAD BEEN HOME FOR ALMOST AN HOUR! Excited he was home I headed home immediately. When I got home I could tell what Mike needed from me was to be left alone. I guess I should have noticed the BAT SIGNAL over our home I’VE BEEN HOME FOR AN HOUR AND DIDN’T LET YOU KNOW.

Sometimes my husband is peopled out and since I’m a people that includes me, too. Bummer! I had rushed home and was really looking forward to spending time with him. Clearly, this was not going to happen.

Marriage is hard, y’all! It’s hard!

Even when two people are on the same page it’s still hard. But when you both want two different things—even for a little while—it gets even harder. Some days or weeks or seasons of marriage are harder than others. It’s like a piece of machinery that gets used all the time needing constant upkeep but breaks down every so many projects and needs extra attention to fix. Like that. Marriage is like that. At least mine is. It takes work.

How about you? Do you think marriage is hard?

Well, after I arrived home that evening, I could tell I was flying solo.

That’s okay. I’m in control of my own happiness, right? I can enjoy myself—all by myself.

I grabbed a book and had a nice dinner, alone, at my kitchen table. After dinner I decided a pedicure would be lovely. I took my only friend for the night, my book, gave Mike a kiss, let him know I was walking to the strip mall for a pedicure, and wasn’t bringing my phone because I didn’t want any distractions.

I was going to read and enjoy my feet being pampered—with no distractions. I’m a grownup adult and don’t need to be dependent on a husband for my happiness. I’m going to enjoy my walk and pampering.

When I reached the strip mall and went up the ramp to the sidewalk I passed a homeless man sound asleep on a sleeping bag. His cell phone was lying next to him. I guess even homeless people have cell phones. Take note: Don’t walk back this way, it may not be safe.

I enjoyed my pamper session, and especially my new peach colored toes. As I sat in the salon chair I noticed it was getting dark. Oh no! I’ll have to walk home in the dark. And what if that guy wakes up? I could call Mike and ask him to come get me. Oh yeah, I don’t have my phone. Maybe Mike will realize it’s dark and drive here to get me. I doubt it, he was pretty consumed with doing his own thing. Eh, it’s okay, I really wanted to walk home anyway.

I paid my bill and headed for the door…and the darkness. What were you thinking?! Now it’s dark! And you’ve got to walk home. Alone. It’s okay. You’re okay. You’ll be fine. Just walk fast. Is that guy still sleeping? Maybe Mike is out here waiting for me? (At this point some of you may be thinking, “What’s the big deal, Lu? So what? it’s dark, just walk home.” Ahem, maybe I’ve watched one too many episodes where women are waving their arms from the back of a car after they’ve kicked a tail light out or read too many articles about missing women or seen too many movies where a woman is pulled into a van. I avoid walking alone in the dark. I just do.)

As I step out from the nail salon my husband wasn’t there. He hadn’t come to rescue me. Oh well, if I wanted him to meet me I should have asked. Maybe he doesn’t really care. Stop it! That’s stupid thinking. Stop it! Why does marriage have to be so hard? Focus! He’s a good man. He just had a long-hard-people-filled day. Deep breath. Walk.

As I began to walk quickly toward the street I hear a man whistle. Not like a show tune or anything, the kind of whistle a man does to get your attention. Suddenly, I feel real fear. I knew I should have told Mike to come get me!

I decided to turn around and look. As I peer over my shoulder I see a handsome guy walking toward me. Wait, that’s not a “handsome guy” that’s my husband! It’s Mike! He’s here for me!

As he walked toward me I literally jumped for joy at the sight of him and threw my arms around him, “Thank you! Thank you for walking here to get me!”

“I got concerned and didn’t want you to walk home in the dark.”

Then we held hands and walked home together. My hero!

What in your life is hard but worth all the work you put into it?

Yes, marriage is hard, but it is magical times like these, that make the work totally and beyond worth it. Don’t you agree?

Until next time, love your spouse and think well of your beloved.