If You’re Thinking About Marriage READ THIS FIRST

There are many things to consider when questioning if it’s time to get married, and if the person you’re with is “the one.” There are many factors. One I often tell people to consider is whether or not “this one” is someone you want to serve the rest of your life. Entering into marriage is entering into a convenient to serve YOUR ONE, “as long as you both shall live.”

But, before you can decide if you are ready to make such a huge commitment, there are a few HUGE tells that will give you a window into what your marriage will be like to this person.

Hang on, this is going to get sticky.

And I hope this sticks, because it’s really important.

Usually as we consider who we want to date, get engaged to, and then marry, we think about how they treat us and how we feel when we are with our loved one. Yes, these can be contributing factors, and certainly, need to be weighted heavily. However, there are other HUGE factors which need equal billing in your decision making.

Ready?

How do they treat others?

It is very easy to put on a show for a month, three months, six months or even a year, but a massive window opens to your forever life by how he or she treats others.

Is he obstinate with his parents? Maybe he has difficult parents to get along with, okay, let’s suppose that. But even if this is so—his parents are difficult—even so, how does he treat his difficult parents?

Is she making her parents out to be villains? Does she have a victim mentality with regard to her parents? Does she talk well of her parents or does she want you to jump on her “my parents don’t understand and are trying to hurt or control me” wagon?

How does your significant other treat strangers?

In restaurants is he kind to serves and wait staff? Does she talk down to the clerk at the register and give off an air of superiority?

How does your One True Love treat YOUR parents?

Is she genuinely kind and friendly or is she putting on an act for you? Does he go out of his way to be kind and helpful to members of your family? What does she say about your family? Does he get annoyed when you want to spend time with siblings or other close relatives?

How does he treat your friends? How does she treat her friends? How does he treat coworkers? How does she treat those who report to her at work?

Now, here’s an even bigger tell:

How does he or she treat someone they are having a disagreement with? Is she kind in the way she deals with emotionally charged interactions? Is he having frequent arguments with Mom or Dad? Does she often talk negatively about, or have negative interactions with coworkers?

Think about the worst relationship he or she currently has.

How do they treat THAT person.

How does she treat her ex-boyfriend? How does he treat his ex-wife? How a person treats their ex’s or how they treated their ex, or speak about their ex, will speak volumes to you. Listen!

Right now, the person your significant other treats the worst, is painting a picture for you of how they will treat YOU in the long run.

Oh, he’s rude to his Mom, but he’s always nice to me.

She’s a bit entitled when it comes to her dad, but she doesn’t treat me like that.

He honks and offers the bird to other drivers, but he laughs when he tells me about it.

She manipulates her family to get her way, but she is always kind and generous with me.

He’s often talking smack about his boss, but he says nice things to me.

She gets really frustrated when she doesn’t get what she wants or even yells at others at times, but she never yells at me.

However, whatever, sometimes-ever, you see him or her treating others, THIS IS HOW THEY WILL TREAT YOU.

Pay attention.

Marriage is a big deal, it’s for life, it’s forever, and the first rule to a good marriage is to choose well.

Take the Marriage Material Quiz and see if the person you’re dating would be a good husband or wife.

How do I know the above to be true you ask? Over the years I’ve met with countless disgruntled unhappy spouses. I’ve met with those struggling in their marriage. I’ve met with those on the verge of divorce. I’ve talked with divorced men and women. All have recounted stories of horrible mistreatment by the one who was supposed to love them the most. These disillusioned love crushed folks usually didn’t see it coming…or so they say.

Maybe the clues were there all along, but they didn’t know what to look for.

Look for the clues. Clues are windows into your future with your one and only.

Fondly,

Lu

For your happily-ever-after pick up a copy of “From Me to We” by Lucille Williams. Subscribe to LuSays today and add your email to the subscribe button.