How to Have Peace in Your Marriage

Peace. Sometimes I’d settle for merely peace in my marriage. I know what many of you are thinking—Peace? I want Spice! Pizzazz! Fireworks! Yeah, I hear you, I want all of those things as well…but occasionally I’d settle for calm.

I have a struggle. And maybe you can relate. Sometimes I have a raging fight going on in my heart. I have to fight with my own selfishness.

Let me explain…

Like for instance, my husband and I may have a day where we are both home. From the time I open my eyes I’m excited to spend the day with him and expectations are created. Maybe we can… Oh, I’d love to… Certainly, we can finally try that new restaurant…

But, he has other plans.

Womp, womp, womp. (That’s my sad trombone.)

Or, he cleaned up my stuff and I can’t find said stuff. Frustrating. (Hey, I told you I was selfish!)

Or, before we can workout he has a slew of other tasks he has to get done before we can begin our exercise routine. And I have to wait. I don’t like waiting.

Or, we get into a conflict—which is the “politically correct” way of saying fight—and I really don’t have the energy to work through the struggle. I’d rather just go back to bed and cover my head in the covers with a flashlight and a book. Just leave me alone already.

Yes, more often than I like, I have a struggle going on in my heart.

I’m battling myself.

I have to take my own selfishness and reframe situations daily.

Let’s start with the first one, shall we?

We are both home and I created expectations. Better to talk about desires and ask for what I want than to create something in my head, which only sets me up for disappointment. I know he is a man who likes to “get things done” and if I tarry he’ll have a plan to “get things done.” It’s actually one of his most endearing qualities. And a huge reason, I fell in love with him. I can always—and I mean always—count on him.

And yes, he cleans up after me. It’s something I really work on, not being a slob, that is. We “slobs” usually like to leave things wherever we want, and expect they’ll be there when we return. Unfortunately, when it’s shoes and you have a husband, said husband can slip over said shoes. How amazing that I have an understanding husband who doesn’t mind straightening up after me from time to time.

As far as working out together, it’s worth the wait–every time. And not only that, I’m a bit of a princess having everything set up for me because I have a husband who’s willing to go that extra mile for me.

Now let’s talk conflict…

Working through conflict is necessary in marriage. Struggle is what keeps things interesting and once a couple learns to work through conflicts with love and kindness it’s a magical thing. The relationship will soar to higher and higher levels. But you’ve got to be willing to stay engaged and get to the other side.

Here’s the secret…

Peace, contentment, and calm, paves the way to spice, pizzazz, and fireworks.

So, I’ll fight my selfish nature until I land on peace.

It’s so easy to look out for ME, but in marriage we’ve got to fight ME and think about WE.

As for me I have to do this daily.

How about you?

Fondly,

Lu

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