How to Have a Meaningful Relationship with Your Kids

There’s a video circulating where parents are asked, Who would you most like to have dinner with?

Some of the answers were: Paul Hogan, Justin Bieber, Marilyn Monroe, Jimi Hendrix…

It’s fun to watch what people say and see how their spouses respond to the answer.

But what was most interesting was when the parents’ kids were interviewed and asked the same question…

Who would you most like to have dinner with?

“Does it have to be someone famous?” one boy asked.

The interviewer said, “No.”

This boy then answered, “Family.”

One child said, “Mom and Dad.”

Another, “Family.”

“Mom and Dad.”

One child talked about sitting around the dinner table talking about her day and hearing about her mom and dad’s day.

Every child’s answer was either Mom and Dad or family.

The camera captured each of the parent’s responses. They were all deeply touched.

When my youngest was in high school he’d sometimes have a half day schedule. On this particular day I set up a lunch date with him. While we were having lunch a group of his friends walked up to the window next to where we were seated and “greeted” him from the other side of the window. Then, this group of his friends came into the restaurant and stood next to our table. They invited him to hang out with them and he graciously declined. I encouraged him to go but he declined again. As the group walked away I asked, “Why didn’t you go with them?” I’ll never forget my son’s words, “Mom, I’m spending time with you, I’d rather be with you.”

And he was a teenager!

One-on-one time was something I often did with all three of my kids since they were really little. Playing in the backyard, walks, lunches, coffee, ice cream, and my middle son’s favorite, Taco Bell. If ever he was mad at me all I had to do was ask, “Do you want to go to Taco Bell?” and all was forgiven. I’m half joking but with a good mixture of truth—Taco Bell gave me time to find out how I may have hurt his heart and make things right. But really it was the time spent not the bean burritos. 

Nightly family dinner was a priority in our home while my husband and I were raising our kids. Talking about our day, laughing together, being silly, and sharing challenges are all some of my fondest memories.

What your kids want is YOU. 

Even if you have a teenager who seems to be pushing you away. Stay engaged. Those teen years are tough but even teenagers want to spend time with their parents—I heard it over and over from teens I’ve worked with, they want to spend time with their parents.

It’s been said that a mark of successful parenting is when your adult kids still want to spend time with you. It all starts when they are very little and want you to listen to them and play games with them.

No matter what season you’re in it is never too late to make time with your kids a priority. Do it before it’s too late and they don’t have time on their calendar for you.

Who do you most want to have dinner with?

Your kids want you.

YOU.

Your kids want YOU.

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.”

– Psalm 137:3

Want more from Lucille Williams on this topic? Order a copy of “The Impossible Kid: Parenting a Strong-Willed Child with Love and Grace.” For marriage tips “From Me to We,” and “The Intimacy You Crave” can help you get the relationship you dream of. And for little ones Turtle Finds His Talent for ages 2-6.