How to Awaken Love

The statistics on sexless marriages are alarming. And DINS (dual income, no sex) seem to be an acceptable tradeoff tossing true intimacy in marriage. Perhaps if we look at sexual intimacy as connection, we might view it differently?

Life is busy. You’ve probably heard the analogy of the big rocks, right? We put the big rocks in the jar first and then add in the pebbles and the sand. What are your big rocks? What are the rocks you want to put in your jar of life first?

Is there room for connecting with your spouse in your jar of life? If not, do you want room for that?

Men and women alike can get swallowed up by demands and pressures and insignificant goals—forgetting to pursue our spouse and neglecting to nurture our relationships.

When we love someone, we make time for our loved one. But how do we carve out, TIME? Maybe you’re overly busy. Or overly tired. Or overly stressed. Or overly…whatever. Perhaps all you need is to make a few shifts to nudge your adult play time up a notch or two.

I’d like to offer some tips on how to make hubby a priority in the “fun” department.

Prepare – Ready your mind by thinking about him in loving ways. This could very well be the most important step. If you are thinking about ways he’s let you down, or about your unmet expectations, or his negative qualities, your brain will tell your “drive” to shut down. But instead think about the kindnesses he’s displayed to you and others, or what you love about him, or the qualities which led you to fall in love with him.

Be ready – Ready yourself like a diver on the edge of the diving board. A diver prepares for each dive. They put on their diving suit. And they shave their legs. You get the idea.

Plan – Have a plan. We plan for dinner. We plan for entertainment. We plan gatherings with friends. We plan what we are going to wear. Have a plan for some “fun.” Fit in in where you want to fit it in.

Talk about it – If you want to enhance your love life sometimes the best approach is a conversation. We talk about so many things as a couple but oftentimes never broach the topic of intimacy. Ask yourself why? It’s part of married life and it deserves a place on the discussion table.

After all the rocks settle, physical intimacy is about connecting. It’s connection in a way where there’s no viable substitute, and when we opt for connection, it brings us closer. And who doesn’t want to feel closer and connected and loved?

For more marriage tips order a copy of “The Intimacy You Crave: Straight Talk about Sex and Pancakes” or “From Me to We” by Lucille Williams. Get weekly updates and SUBSCRIBE to LuSays today.