Girlfriend, Can We Talk?
It was a fantastic morning. I accompanied my kids to a gymnastic class for my grandchildren. The boys are ages two and two and a half, and they are both full of all the energy life can offer. Watching both boys play with their fathers was a highlight of my year for sure.
But that’s not what this post is about.
While I was enjoying watching my grand-babies I couldn’t help but notice a mom and her child and husband. This mom stood out above all the others.
Allow me to explain the situation.
The class was designed for one parent and child to participate. In our case it was my son with his son, and my son-in-law and his son. My daughter and I watched and laughed as the boys fell on mats, ran endlessly, and jumped into the foam pit. Delight beyond compare. We laughed and were amused throughout the entire 45 minutes.
Now, back to the mom I noticed.
She was not sitting in the stands like my daughter and myself. She was following her husband around the gym instructing him on how to “play” with their little boy. She hovered over him like an eagle ready to swoop down and attack its prey. She followed him around for the entire 45 minutes instructing, point, and navigating his every move.
Oh my goodness, this poor guy.
He looked miserable. While other parents were having an amazing time with their toddlers, this dad was utterly miserable. You could totally see it on his face and in his overall demeanor.
I can’t remember the last time I felt so bad for someone. I wanted to pull this mom aside and ask, “Do you have any idea what you are doing to your husband?”
“Do you have any idea what you are communicating to him?”
“Are you meaning to demean him and embarrass him in public?”
“He’s here, give the guy some credit and get off his back.”
But I didn’t, instead I chose to tell you.
What she was doing was communicating, “I don’t trust you.”
What she was saying was, “You’re not good enough.”
There was no doubt in my mind that this extended to other areas of life for this couple.
When I compare this mom with my daughter I felt so proud. She cheered for her husband and made sure to lavish praise on him when the class was over. My son-in-law left that day walking tall and confident.
Praise will do that to a person.
Ladies, if we want a man we can be proud of we need to praise and adore and lavish love on him. When our man knows we believe in him he will be more confident and secure. A man will be more confident in his parenting when he feels he can win at being a dad. The more you criticize him or instruct him the more he’ll back away or feel defeated—i.e. the dad I watched. His body language communicated total defeat and lack of enthusiasm for life. Her instruction pulled it right out of him.
Be a cheerleader.
Not a critic.
Girlfriend, thanks for reading, love you all!
Fondly,
Lu
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