Forever Love: Five Secrets

Are you still having fun in your marriage? Still married but not feeling the pizazz, like you’d like to?

Do you want fun?

Laughter?

Passion?

My husband and I had a very rocky start to our marriage, but over our thirty-five years we have learned the secret to keeping it new and vibrant and alive.

Forever love? Is it possible?

YES!

Five Secrets to Forever Love:

• For Worse– When we get married we vow for better or worse, richer or poorer, good times or bad, sickness or health, until death. DEATH! What if you get worse, poorer, bad, or sickness? I can honestly say I’ve gone through each one listed. Sometimes a few simultaneously. Is it time to bail when worse, poorer, bad, or sickness arrives? NO! That’s when it is time to be more committed than ever! Marriage is a calling. Marriage is an honor. Marriage is a privilege. Sometimes you’ve got to get through worse to arrive at great.
• Date– Schedule time to date. Marriage needs to be fun. Plan and schedule regular and fun dates together. Put time into spending time together. Don’t concern yourself with WHO does the scheduling just make sure it happens. This may mean YOU are the one to get that date on the calendar. Do it! Have fun together—never stop having fun together.
• Turn Up the Spice in the Bedroom– Your “intimate” time needs time and planning sometimes, too. Work on this area of your marriage like you’d work on any other area in your marriage. When the spice in the bedroom becomes bitter, your marriage could be becoming sour. This is an easy fix. Get to work!
• Be Forgiving– You’ve been hurt. I’ve been hurt. Your spouse has been hurt. If you’re married you’ve been hurt.  You will be hurt emotionally. But you’ve probably hurt your spouse, too. Not on purpose, of course—you don’t mean to, but it happens. The more intense our feelings are for someone, the greater risk of emotional pain. We want forgives when we’ve offended, they deserve the same forgiveness. We all mess up. We are all broken people, and broken people hurt other people. Even when they don’t mean to. Forgive.
• Conflict– Be willing to work through conflict in order to get to the solution. This may mean a compromise. This may mean agreeing to disagree. This may mean an apology because you realize you were wrong. (Yes, I’m speaking from experience. This happens to me more than I’d like to admit.) When we steer through conflicts we end on a road with commonality and resolve. Which in the long run creates greater intimacy, and trust. Don’t be afraid of conflict. Use conflict to build a stronger marriage. But be careful not to hang on to offenses and want to beat each other up with each offense. Talk it through and let it go. If you can’t, get professional help but don’t beat your mate up with words.

If you are experiencing the “for worse” in your marriage right now, know your job as a spouse is more critical than ever. What you do will determine whether or not you get to experience the best aspect of marriage, the privilege of growing old together. With your forever love.

Fondly,

Lu

Want a forever marriage with your forever love? Order a copy of Lucille Williams’ book “From Me to We: A Premarital Guide for the Bride- and Groom- to- Be,” it’s not just for newlyweds. Join our community of grace-givers and subscribe to Lu Says today by putting in your email in the subscribe button. We promise no junk mail!