Eternal Destination

We celebrated my father-in-law’s life last week. It was hard not to call it a funeral—even though my brother-in-law felt strongly about calling it a “celebration of life.” Yes, we want to celebrate the life but it’s also saying goodbye and it felt very much life a funeral to me, a final goodbye, a last resting place.

My father-in-law, Wally Williams was a WWII vet who jammed the radar signals so the enemy couldn’t find their plane. Only 24% of aircrew survived the war unscathed, and I believe it was due to my father-in-law’s sharp brain as a radar jammer that saved him and his fellow airmen. After the war he had a long and successful career with Lockheed Martin—operating under top secret clearance for many of those years, which angered my mother-in-law because she couldn’t get a hold of him as she wanted and didn’t know where he was while at work.

One service was at Miramar National Cemetery and the other was at my father-in-law’s and brother-in-law’s church in San Diego. It was the church where everyone knew him as the sweet older gentleman who got baptized by a few sprinkles of water because he was in his late 90s and couldn’t be fully submerged.

Our older son flew in from Texas and me and Mike and our daughter drove to California from Arizona. It was roughly 6 hours—which was one of the best aspects of the “celebration” process. We laughed, we told stories, we enjoyed each other. Thank You, God for children. Our son would be doing the service at the church.

While at Miramar it looked as though me and Monica (my daughter) might miss the service…

We were all waiting in our cars to drive to the site when we both had to use the “facilities” and when we got back all the cars were pulling out. Our car, with the guys, couldn’t wait for us because the line took off. Monica said, “They left without us.” I laughed.

It was actually quite funny. We figured we would just walk. As the cars drove by one of the pastors in a truck hollered “jump in the back” and we did, only to find out that the final destination was only steps away from our original starting point. Everyone just made a big loop.

Funny.

During the ceremony there were planes flying overhead and the United States flag was unfolded and folded again. At this point my kids and I got really emotional with tears rolling down our faces. I saw my daughter reach over to her brother and slip her arm in his—it touched my mom heart.

Once at the church so many wonderful people who gave their condolences.

Wally told them many stories.

Wally went through the prayer cards on Sunday while he waited to go home.

Wally didn’t understand why the music was so loud.

But what these loving people didn’t know was…

When I first started dating my husband, he, Wally, and his wife invited us to join them for a Dodger game so they could get to know me—the first girl their son “brought home.”

For our wedding my father-in-law got our limo and brought it to my parents’ house.

Newly married, when my mother-in-law talked about me in the other room and tears flowed from my eyes, my father-in-law said, “Consider the source.”

He was there for the birth of all three of my children.

He bought me my car after our van broke down for the umptieth time.

When he was to have open heart surgery, we prayed for him, and I held him as he cried. And then, in the hospital I rubbed lotion on his feet every time we visited.

When it got to the end I sat on his bed and held his hand.

Days before he passed, he gave my husband a final blessing and told him he was proud of him for the man he was, the father he was, and the pastor he was.

He would say, “Thanks for calling, now I know how to pray,” after my many phone calls.

Yes, they knew him as the sweet old gentleman, but I knew him as Dad.

Saying goodbye is not easy.

During the service at the church wearing his grandfather’s cuffs and tie clip our son had a difficult time getting through his message through the tears. It was a beautiful, heartfelt eulogy. Proud doesn’t begin to explain the feeling.

No more words can be said…

No more visits…

No more hugs…

Until heaven.

Live now. Love now. Each day we build our legacy.

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
    when it is in your power to act.”

– Proverbs 3:27

“Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend
    forsakes the fear of the Almighty.”

– Job 6:14

For more from Lucille Williams check out her books The Impossible Kid: Parenting a Strong-Willed Child with Love and Grace, and for your marriage, From Me to We, and The Intimacy You Crave. We invite you to subscribe to LuSays today for weekly encouragement.