Easy Marriage
My husband and I were on our way from Texas to Arizona, we’d been driving since ten in the morning, and we were both exhausted. It was way past dinner time and both of us were hungry. We knew we’d be on the road until late into the night so “fueling up” was essential. Unfortunately, options were limited for a grab and go dinner. I took a deep breath and focused on not getting hangry. That would be way, way, way, too ugly.
Then Mike pulled off the road looking for a place to stop. He suggested a fast-food place, and I had to use the “facilities” so bad I agreed. It had gotten to the point where liquid had flooded my brain, and I was no longer thinking clearly.
Have you been there?
After looking at the menu I changed my mind—I mean isn’t that a woman’s prerogative? Not wanting to stop at two places and take up more time, Mike said, Okay then, let’s go. And we got back on the freeway.
I can hear many of you screaming, Are you kidding me? How could you?
Yeah, I asked myself the same thing. I really have no answer other than I didn’t want to eat there.
As we continued on the freeway, I was trying to say as little as possible, because, well, you know—hangry.
Not too much longer and we found a sandwich place and both of us were happy.
How many times in marriage do you find yourself exhausted, on empty, and dazed?
Life can be hard. Challenges are thrown at us continually. Just being nice on some days can be a stretch. Considering the other person and their feelings can feel like climbing a mountain. Being sensitive with our words is critical if we are to be kind but oh how hard it can be.
Simple rules to follow when the heat goes up in marriage…
Be kind. This alone can save the demise of many marriages. As soon as we begin to keep score over injustices we feel we’ve endured, being kind can seem almost impossible. However, if we choose kindness no matter what kindness will soon flow back and forth in most relationships.
Say as few words as possible. When we lower our word count we will be more careful about the words we choose. Carefully chosen words can make all the difference in the marriage world.
Listen more. When we focus on listening, rather than speaking, our understanding of situations and our partners viewpoint will be much easier to take in.
Look at the situation from the other’s perspective. This one practice can illuminate or lessen arguments in marriage. I can be steaming mad at my husband, and asking myself, “How is he seeing this situation?” usually stops me in my tracks. It works, try it.
For more from Lucille Williams on marriage order a copy of “From Me to We” and “The Intimacy You Crave.”For tools to parent your strong-willed child order “The Impossible Kid: Parenting a Strong-Willed Child with Love and Grace.”
