Dumb Love

Can we ever love too much? I often feel that I love so deeply that it is my biggest fault. When those I love hurt, I hurt. When those I love grieve, I grieve. When those I love suffer, I suffer. I don’t know how to turn it off.

When someone comes to me with sadness, I feel his or her pain. I take their sadness with me and then can’t shake it off.

Some days I wish I didn’t have to feel anymore. I long to be a zombie. I want to not feel others’ pain. When it is someone I love deeply, the depth of my sadness is as deep as my love for them.

Is there anyway to turn this off? I have struggled through this question. And my conclusion is turning it off would be to turn off love and love is our greatest gift.

Loving too much is the definition of being a mother. A good mother anyway. If you didn’t love too much you wouldn’t walk with your kids through struggles. You wouldn’t cry with your child when they cry. You wouldn’t fight for them when no one else will. You wouldn’t be there to help pick up the pieces when they make a huge mistake.

I’ve heard it said that a mom is only as happy as her least happy child. A bit codependent but I can completely relate to that statement. Can any other mothers relate to this? A good mom cannot be totally unaffected by her child’s sadness. It just isn’t possible.

When we love deeply we feel pain. At the same token there is no one more elated when our child hits a homerun, nails a speech, or comes home with straight A’s. Once when my son won a boxing tournament I jumped and screamed so loud that I almost passed out.

Pain and sadness come with being a mom. I’ll take it.

Strive for love.