Doing Life with Your Adult Children
Romans 5:8 – “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
As a parent of adult children, we will often say we love and support our kids no matter what. That’s how God loves us and that’s what we strive to extend.
But here’s where it gets tricky…
What if your child is doing something you completely disagree with?
What if your child is living in a manner which is different than the morals and values you raised them with?
What if you know—you just know—that they are headed in a wrong direction?
What then? Can we still support and love our child unconditionally under these circumstances?
Tricky, right?
Consider this…
My husband’s dad just passed to his eternal home recently. Before his dad left this world he asked to speak to my husband, and during their talk his dad let him know how proud of him he was. This hugely effected my husband. To hear those words, to know how proud his dad was of him…well, those words will be with him for the rest of his days. He is a father himself with grown kids and grandkids and getting such a blessing from his father reached him in a way that no one else could.
As parents we have a tremendous effect on our children. There’s something in each one of us which longs for the approval and unconditional love of our parents. We all long to be accepted for who we are—flaws and all. Even when we don’t do everything our parents “tell” us to do. Even when our views may differ from our parents. We still long to feel loved and accepted.
And that’s how our kids feel. No matter what age they are.
If we can offer unconditional love and acceptance to our kids just for being who they are that’s when we have tapped into God’s love.
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
– Romans 8:38-39
We don’t always need to agree with everything they say and do to offer this type of love and approval.
If we disagree with them, do we really need to tell them so? Maybe we can wait to be asked for advice?
If they are living in a manner which conflicts with the morals and values we raised them with, do we really need to tell them so? If they grew up in your house, they most likely know how you feel about certain things.
What they need to know is that we love them for who they are no matter what and that we are proud of them. That in itself will propel them to be the best human they can be. And it will cause them to go to you when they need support, encouragement, and advice. And especially love.
Perhaps we can use these words on a regular basis…
I love you so much.
I am so proud of you.
I am so pleased with the amazing human being you are.
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