Distressed Fiancé

Hi Lucille,

I wanted to reach out and see if you could help me with something I am going through. I’m kind of out of things to turn to so here I am. 

My fiancé and I are getting married in nine months. Today, it seems so far away. My fiancé goes to school three hours away from our hometown and he is heading back from the summer this weekend.

I feel hurt and unwanted and this will be our FOURTH year of this, but for some reason this year it is affecting me way more than it ever has in the past. 

We don’t get to see each other much because I don’t have anywhere to stay in his school town (because we’re not married) and he isn’t able to come home often because it’s exhausting and of course cost money to get home. 

I’m struggling, I’m slipping into a dark place. I feel like all the trust I have in him is gone. He lives with a couple of guys that aren’t Christians and it makes me sick to my stomach. We’re so close to the end, but I’m experiencing emotions that I’ve never felt before. 

There’s nothing I can do, but wait. What can I do to make this time in my life a little easier on me? I’ve been praying scriptures over him, but I’m so emotional it just makes me burst into tears. I know you’re an expert on the Me to We thinking, but I feel like I can’t think that way because I am by myself for the next nine months.

Thanks,

Rachel

Rachel,

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m sure it’s difficult for you, and you feel a bit hopeless. 

Let’s say you end up being married for 50, 60, 70 years. This short amount of time, considering all the years you’ll be together, is really relatively short.

BUT I know in this season, it feels like an eternity. 

The very best thing you can do in this season, is to work on yourself. The best marriages are combined of two people who love to be together but can be completely fine on their own. Contentment during this time, will translate into contentment throughout the duration of your marriage. 

It is very sweet that you enjoy being with him so much and that you miss him. That’s a good thing. However, you need to be good all by yourself. The more you love you, and are good without another person, the stronger your marriage will be. 

When you are with him, enjoy him, and be the best fiancé you can be. Always remind him why he chose you. And then do the same after you’re married. 

Hang in there, seek God daily, and work on you. 

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, may you have many blissful years together!

Best,
Lu

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