Can We Affair Proof Our Marriage, Even If We Are In Ministry?

Affairs and marriage seem to continually be in the headlines, even pastors are not exempt. One would think if one is following God, and serving God, words like cheat and affair would never come up. Unfortunately, even godly people are not immune.

I think sometimes we can get so caught up in serving God that we forget to put a shield around our life, and our marriages. No one is beyond the snare of temptation. It may take a different form for each one of us, but nonetheless, no one is free from the possible clutches of a downfall.

Being married to a pastor I understand the heavy weight they carry and the demands such a position holds. Being in ministry means being extra careful to do the best to affair proof your marriage.

Can we really affair proof our marriages?

Nothing is a guarantee or 100% all the time…

But I think we can come pretty darn close.

There are steps my husband and I take, and I’d like to share them with you.

• If he needs to go out of town for work, like conferences or speaking, he brings me or someone else with him.
• We don’t spend time with the opposite sex alone—unless they are family. We don’t meet men/women for coffee or a meal or a late night discussion.
• We both have full access to each other’s phones. We don’t have any secret texts going on.
• We share how we are feeling. If one of us is feeling lonely or isolated or minimalized we share it with the other.
• We work on our physical, spiritual, and mental health together. We recognize when one of these is out of balance it could cause our marriage to be out of balance.
• We are intentional about meeting each other’s needs physically and mentally. We schedule together time.
• We regularly check in with each other to get a pulse on the temperature of our relationship. We ask, “Are we okay?” “Do you need anything from me?” “Can I help you with anything?”
• We have fun with each other daily. Couples who play together, stay together.
• We recognize our human messiness and give grace and acceptance often. Words such as “I love you” and “Will you forgive me?” are used regularly.
• We pray for each other daily.

Marriage is a gift and treating it as a gift can shift your entire perspective.

“Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.”

– Romans 13:8

We will not regret choosing to love another with all we have.

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