But I Hate My Body 2.0
“What is the perfect body, anyway? I don’t know, but I know it’s not mine!” That’s a quote from my devotion on Encouragement for Today, Proverbs 31 Ministries.
It is so easy to find the flaws in our figures. Stop looking for the flaws and start looking for what’s beautiful and lovely. I know that can be a tough task but if we truly seek to be good to ourselves and look at our physiques with a bit more grace, it can be done.
Body image is such a hot topic for us women. Frankly, I’ve never met anyone who didn’t have them. While this is a huge discussion all on its own what I’d like to focus on in this post is not allowing body image issues to forge their way into the boudoir, the love den… your love life.
On this post I’ll be letting men weigh in on this topic with quotes from The Intimacy You Crave, which are scattered throughout the book to get a look into the way men think.
What He Wants You To Know
“Your whole body is a playground to me. If the swing’s fat and the slide’s curvy, that’s okay. I don’t care. We men like it all.”
-Gus, married with four kids
Early in my marriage when things steamed up I used to worry about how I looked. “What if he sees…” “Oh no, look at that!” “Is that a fat bulge?!” Yes, I used to be worried with how I looked and then I realized he didn’t seem to care at all. All he cared about was how I was responding to him, NOT about what I thought on how I looked.
What He Wants You To Know
“It’s not your body that deters me from wanting you sexually; it’s your attitude. I think you are fine! It’s like Halle Berry forty pounds heavier or the Wicked Witch of the West with a tight body— which one would you rather have?”
-Claude, married twenty-two years
Our attitudes with regard to our bodies, and even more our attitude toward him, will make all the difference in the fun zone.
Let the Good Times Roll
Think about riding a roller coaster or letting loose at a rock concert or whatever you were doing the last time you abandoned all reservations. You didn’t worry about your body image while you were riding the roller coaster—take this approach with sex.
Imagine how your sex life would change if you loved how you looked and felt completely comfortable with your body. What if you believed your man when he tells you that you are hot and sexy? What if you didn’t judge yourself by your physical features but instead looked into his eyes to determine your beauty?
When the bedroom door closes, lock the issues out. No turning back. Like going down a slide, just let yourself fall.
“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.”
-Ephesians 2:10
Fondly,
Lu
Want to read more about spicing up your marriage? Order a copy today of “The Intimacy You Crave: Straight Talk about Sex and Pancakes” by Lucille Williams. Engaged? Check out her other book, “From Me to We.” Subscribe to LuSays and get weekly encouragement.
When I was a teenager, I also fasted to lose belly fat. I became obsessed with my body image. I am not sure if it was a phase or if it was an affect from being abused. I am of average weight today but I have to remind myself that God created us and He loves us affectionately.
Amen! So happy you have balance in this area now. It can be so hard.
Maybe I’m in the wrong place. 54 years of body shame and insecurity led me to 36 years of strangers and a stripper’s stage. All I ever wanted was a husband and kids. Saved in 2014, I gave that whole life up…all of it. The following year, I transitioned overnight to menopause and its truly mortifying body changes after an ovarian cancer diagnosis led to a full hysterectomy. Trying hard to have empathy for a married woman whose husband spontaneously tells her she’s beautiful, but who says, “honey not tonight; I feel fat.” I need a miracle.
Yes, I totally hear you. 800 words really don’t convey ones heart. I can see how that could sound so insensitive, I’m so sorry. And I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through. I too have had a hysterectomy after having three C-sections. I can only imagine what you went through fighting Cancer. Praise God you are following Jesus. Praying for you right now.
Good day, when I was younger, I struggled with being too skinny and I desperately wanted to gain wait. However after having my 2nd set of children, I’m very disappointed with the way my body looks. How can I embrace that fact that God created me like this when my body was beautiful in my eyes up until a few years ago. I think I’m trying to say that having kids cause my body to be this way and it’s not the way God originally made it. When I was skinny , I wasn’t happy with my looks now I’m pleasantly plump and I still don’t like the way I look. When I was in between marriages , I really loved all the attention I got for being in shape and having 5 kids. Now, I’m on the 2nd batch of kids , a marriage that is failing and I’m body shaming myself.
Oh my sweet sister, I’m so sorry. I get it I too have not had the same body since children. May God reveal Himself in a mighty way to help guide you. Praying for you now.
I really needed to read this, Lu! Thank you!!!! Love the straight talk. My husband has/had an addiction to porn for the first 15 years of our marriage. Most days not allowing negative talk from the enemy about my 45 year old body to consume me is a struggle. But it keeps me running to my Creator for affirmation. And He is a good Father. Love you. Keep it up, Sister!
Thank you!
LOVED this post! I’m 57 and have always been a stick!!! Just now learning to feel comfortable in my skin. I’m not all the way there but trying to remember God’s creation of me is VERY GOOD” 😁 Thank you Lu, blessings!
Jenny- I’m so happy to hear this! Thank you for reaching out 😊💗