Be My Valentine

Valentine’s Day is approaching and I thought we’d give our men a break this year. Yes, that’s right, a break! Most men feel a sense of anxiety as this particular holiday approaches; each man knows that their sweetheart has a certain level of expectation. They need to be romantic, they need to be debonair, they need to surprise them with something, and they need to plan something that will satisfy their special Valentine in order to stay out of the doghouse. They approach this holiday with possible, potential doom and risk the tears—the tears of disappointment—as if to say their efforts or non-efforts have failed.

Men don’t like to fail.

Really? Why do we women do this to the men we love? If you want something to happen on Valentine’s Day, then plan it. Let him know what you’d like, and then be a part of planning it. Or ask him if he would like to plan something. Some men like to surprise their women. But many don’t like the stress of trying to meet an arbitrary target, because we women all agree “they should know what we want without us having to tell them,” right?

Take the pressure off him ladies.

Instead of expectations, be thankful for the man that he is through the year. Does he work hard? Does he come home at the end of the day? Be thankful for that! Many women do not have men that come home at the end of the day—to love and cherish. Be thankful that you have a man who wants to come home to you each day.

One Valentine’s Day I decided that I wanted flowers, so I went out and bought some; and then called my husband and thanked him. It went like this:

“Thank you for the beautiful flowers.”

“Umm, what? I didn’t send you any flowers, Honey. They aren’t from me.”

“Oh yes, they are! And they are just perfect! Thank you!”

“Well, what color flowers did I get you?”

I am not going into details but we had a fantastic night!

Now, I am not at all saying I don’t love when my husband brings me flowers or surprises me with a trip or a new dress. I love it! He does those things not because I expect him to, but because he wants to; and when surprises don’t happen on a day like Valentine’s Day that is totally okay with me. My husband loving me is enough on Valentine’s Day or any other day.

This year instead of looking for what you will get from your Valentine, give him some praise and appreciation for the great man he is. After all, you chose him; let him know that you’d choose him again.  If he knows that, no matter what he does, or does not do, he will win. You will be surprised at what the coming years will look like.