Avoiding Late Night Fights

I was steaming. I mean really steaming. My husband said something as we were going to bed and it really got under my skin. Then, he fell asleep. He fell asleep! How could he? As I lay there with steam jettisoning from my ears, I thought about waking him up. The longer he slept the higher the steam level rose.

Then, I thought, I’ll show him! I’ll write him a letter.

I grabbed my paper and pen, which sits in my drawer next to my bed.

I had purpose.

I had determination.

I had focus.

I would write him a letter to let him have it.

I began writing.

One page. Two pages. Three pages. Four.

Take that! You…you…you, sleeping insensitive inconsiderate used-to-be-best-husband-in-the-world turned hurtful word slinger before dozing off.

How could he sleep?

Did I mention he was sleeping?

I took my written arrows and placed them on his nightstand.

Then, I realized I had more to “throw” and retrieved my paper and pen. Only this time when I was done I threw the paper in his direction. He threw it back. How could he do that? He was asleep. I threw it back. He threw it back. I can’t remember exactly how many back and forth paper throw-ings there were, but I was victorious and had the final throw.

There, that’s it.

That’ll show him!

Eventually, I went to sleep.

In the morning, he acted like nothing happened.

How dare he?

And then, he finally found my “Formal Declaration of War.”

There, I’ll show you!

He picked up the papers and started reading—out loud.

As he read, he began to laugh. By the time he finished the last “War Declaration”—the one that had been flying in the middle of the night—which he retrieved off the floor, we were both hysterical with laughter.

He looked at me, said, “I’m sorry.”

And that was it.

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering what it was that got me so worked up, but I’ve been trying to recall through this whole reenactment, and I sincerely can’t remember.

Not a word.

It’s funny how we can allow ourselves to become so upset over what seems like a huge injustice at the time and then later realize we blew it way over-the-top.

The next time you want to “say” something to your spouse, try writing it. It can bring clarity for you and for him…or her.   

It may even bring laughter.

“Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.”

-Ecclesiastes 7:9

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