Are You Proud of Your Kids?
While watching a silly movie in which two teenagers switched bodies, I surprisingly found myself overcome with emotion and a flood of torrential tears.
What caused this kind of reaction?
The scene was a high school football game. A mom and dad were watching their “son” play but their son was actually sitting next to them because he had “switched” bodies with a friend (don’t judge me, I told you it was a silly movie). The dad kept screaming, “That’s my son!” He was so proud. The son got to see first hand how proud and overjoyed his dad was. It made me cry.
Have you ever thought about the idea that usually our proudest moments with regard to our children are when they are not right next to us? It is when they are giving a speech, scoring a touchdown, stepping up and treating someone with kindness. We watch from afar, and they are not witness to our reaction and our feelings of being overjoyed with pride. We can tell them about it later, but they don’t actually see it. I think that is what made me cry, realizing that I probably have not done a sufficient job expressing my delight and pride for each one of my kids—in front of them.
Have you ever noticed that we usually brag about our kids when they are not around? We talk about them sometimes to the point that others probably would like to clamp our lips. For me, my kids are one of my favorite subjects—I could talk about them all day. And now that my son is married, my “new daughter” has been added to the bragging playlist as well. (Don’t ever ask me about one of my kids, because I could tie you up for hours!)
And yet, each one of my kids thinks that another is my favorite child. Truthfully, I don’t have a favorite. Sure, there are days when one is easier than another and if you were to ask me on that day, yes, I may have a favorite. Just kidding…
Perhaps the reason they all think I have a favorite is because I talk favorably about the one who is absent. In other words, I talk highly of each child to my other kids. When I visit my son in Texas, I talk about my other two back home, and vise versa. Do you do that? Why do we do that?
Doesn’t it seem easier to express your feelings and pride for someone when they are not right in front of you?
On one occasion, my husband and I were having dinner with one of my father-in-law’s long-time friends. The friend turned to my husband and said, “Your dad always talked about you and your brother while you were growing up. Your dad is so proud of you.” My husband never knew his father did this. It impacted both of us profoundly.
Maybe today is a good day to tell your kids how proud of them you are? Maybe you can sit down and write them a letter expressing your delight over them? As for me, this letter is dedicated to the loves of my life. A mother couldn’t be more proud.
My kids are better than any Mother’s Day gift I could ever dream up! The best present on that day, or any day, is just to spend time with them. Who agrees with me?
I loved this, Lu! Great point.
Thank you! I really appreciate your comment!
You’re welcome! I’m posting it right now to my Facebook fan page: facebook.com/twocannoli. Do you have a Twitter handle or Facebook fan page for me to follow? I’m on your email subscriber list.
I do not have Twitter at this time, but I will at some point. And no, I do not have a Facebook fan page, just a regular Facebook.
And thanks for posting me!
When I went to your Gravatar it didn’t link me to your blog. Just letting you know.
I totally agree! I’m thankful for every moment I get to have with my men – the best present for sure!
Yes, Stephanie! Thanks for reading and your comment! I am right there with you, so thankful for my family!
My son is 6 and I couldn’t be more proud. Just as I talk to him when he misbehaves I also let him know when he makes me proud. If you asked my son what I want for Mother’s Day or my birthday he would tell you I want him to be kind and respectful. That’s it! Oh and a homemade card. Happy Mother’s Day to you Lu!
Happy Mother’s Day, Aimee! Your son is a lucky kid to have a mom like you! Thanks for your comment!
Happy Mother’s Day! I absolutely love your post because I agree with it a lot. Parents tend to brag about their kids the most when they aren’t in the room. I grew up with three older brothers and a mom who’d constantly nag me at home and tell me to do better. That used to irritate me to no end.
But I found out later on that my mom thinks I’m really smart; that one of my brothers told her (in secret) that I had improved my cooking; and then I learned from my brother’s friend that he keeps talking about me (any my achievements) whenever they meet. 😀 It’s not just the parents who are secretly bragging about their kids though. I bet the kids do the same amount of bragging, about their parents, to their friends. ^^
Visiting you from the Happy Wives Club link up.
Bella, that’s great! Thanks for your comment!
If we are every blessed with children, I’ll definitely reply to this with an affirmative!
Thank you, Fawn!
From a daughter who has never heard of praise, this post means so much. 🙂
It’s very insightful and it made me think how the lack of verbal accolades affected me. I guess I overcompensate by praising others too much or intimidate by finding fault in even the most mundane things.
Thank you for your comment! I am glad to hear that you praise others even though it was not something you received. Often our parents just repeat what they learned, usually they do better than their parents. But for a daughter who needs approval and praise it can be hard.
You’re so welcome. 🙂 I don’t think parents are to blame for their children’s actions though, no matter how absent or emotionally detached their parents are. We make our own in choices. We can be the one who approach them and reconnect or ask why they don’t praise us as much. That’s what I did and it worked out well for me.
Again, your post was amazing. 🙂
I totally agree with you! So glad you things worked out well for you. I appreciate your kind words.