Are We Losing the Ability to Connect?

My husband and I were traveling and had dinner in the restaurant of our hotel. A large group of ladies were seated near us—there were 9 of them. The reason I noticed was because instead of talking to each other they mostly were on their cell phones. I couldn’t understand why a person would make the choice to be on their phone trying to connect to others, when you’ve got an actual person sitting in front of you and beside you. I wondered, did this group not like each other? They were traveling together so there was some kind of a choice there. Then, I thought maybe they worked together, but it did not seem like a work dinner or trip. It appeared that they were all friends.

I was dumbfounded. Here were grown people who clearly wanted to connect with others, but yet, when given the chance to talk to living breathing people they were choosing a fake substitute. Why? It just didn’t make any sense to me.

Then, hubby and I went to breakfast the next day and there was a family seated across from us. Mom and Dad and 5 kids. Mom was on her phone. Dad was on his phone. And the kids were talking with each other. Then their food came and I was waiting for the phones to get put away but no, this dad held his phone in one hand and ate with the other. What in the world?

It’s no wonder depression is on the rise.

It’s no wonder people feel lonelier.

It’s no wonder marriages are failing.

It’s no wonder our society is more disconnected than ever.

You.

Me.

We…

We were all created for connectedness. We were made with a desire to be in relationship. God’s design is that we live in community with one another.

Have we lost the ability to communicate, to connect with one another? How are we to do this in today’s social media online culture?

I have some friends who sit in lounge chairs in the driveway of their home each night and engage whoever wants to talk. Neighbors and passersby will stop and talk. What a lovely way to engage with their neighborhood and share Christ’s love.

I know of a family who has an outside pizza oven and invites other families over on a regular basis. Families need to connect and encourage each other.

When I meet with people for coffee or lunch or whatever, I leave my cell phone in my purse and ignore it. If I am going to schedule a time with someone I’m going to be with them during our scheduled time. Nothing says, I don’t really care about you like a cell phone sitting on a table while you are talking to someone.

Have we as a society lost the ability to make others feel special?

Have we lost the ability to let others know they are loved?

Have we lost the ability to connect and show that we truly care about another person?

How about you?

How do you show the people in your life whom you love that you really care about them?

How do you remain present in your relationships?

How do you prioritize the people who are most important?

“I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”

– John 13:34

“Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

– Philippians 2:4

We were made for connectedness. Be present. Connect. Show someone you care.

For more from Lucille Williams check out her books The Impossible Kid: Parenting a Strong-Willed Child with Love and Grace, and for your marriage, From Me to We, and The Intimacy You Crave. And Turtle Finds His Talent for ages 2-6. We invite you to subscribe to LuSays today for weekly encouragement.