5 Secrets To Forever Love

Photo Credit: Josh Telles

After 33 years of marriage—to the same person—I had the best date of my life. It encompassed everything you desire in a date.

Fun. Laughter. Food. Great conversation. Passion.

We were celebrating our 33-year anniversary. We stole so many kisses from each other and were so captivated with one another our server had to interrupt us in order to get us our food. People looking on probably thought we were either newlyweds or having an affair. Isn’t it sad that when we see two people engrossed with each other we usually assume they are newlyweds or fornicators?

How is this possible after 33 years? Especially since to say we had a rocky start would be a gross understatement.

Forever love? Is it possible? I think so.

5 Secrets to Forever Love:

• For Worse – When we get married we vow for better or worse, richer or poorer, good times or bad, sickness or health, until death. DEATH! What if you get worse, poorer, bad, or sickness? I can honestly say I’ve gone through each one listed. Many simultaneously. Is it time to bail when worse, poorer, bad, or sickness arrives? NO! That’s when it is time to be more committed than ever! Marriage is a calling. Marriage is an honor. Marriage is a privilege. Sometimes you’ve got to get through worse to arrive at great.
• Date – Schedule time to date. Marriage needs to be fun. Plan and schedule regular and fun dates together. Put time into spending time together. Don’t concern yourself with WHO does the scheduling just make sure it happens. So, it may mean YOU are the one to do it.
• Turn Up the Spice in the Bedroom – Your “intimate” time needs time and planning sometimes too. Work on this area of your marriage like you’d work on any other area in your marriage. When the spice in the bedroom becomes bitter, your marriage could be in serious danger. This is an easy fix. Get to work!
• Be Forgiving – You’ve been hurt. I’ve been hurt. Your spouse has been hurt. If you’re married you’ve been hurt. The more intense our feelings are for someone, the greater risk of emotional pain. You will be hurt emotionally. But you’ve probably hurt your spouse too. Not on purpose of course but I’d put money on that you have. You don’t mean to, but it happens. You want forgiveness from them. They deserve the same forgiveness you desire from them when you mess up. We are all broken people, and broken people hurt other people. Even when they don’t mean to. Forgive.
• Conflict – Be willing to work through conflict in order to get to the solution. This may mean a compromise. This may mean agreeing to disagree. This may mean an apology because you realize you were wrong. (Yes, I’m speaking from experience. This happens to me more than I’d like to admit.) When we steer through conflicts we end on a road with commonality and resolve. Which in the long run creates greater intimacy and trust. Don’t be afraid of conflict. Use conflict to build a stronger marriage.

If you are experiencing the “for worse” in your marriage right now, know your job as a husband or wife is more critical than ever. What you do will determine whether or not you get to experience the best aspect of marriage, the privilege of growing old together. With your forever love.