3 Points to a Lasting Marriage
I’m sitting in the waiting area while my husband undergoes Physical Therapy. When his physical therapist came to call him in for his therapy session you would have thought two old friends were greeting each other. My husband seems to make friends wherever he goes. Always the model student in all situations. Watching him never disappoints.
There’s a couple to my right sitting in close proximity in chairs that connect filling out the new patient forms. It’s clear to me this couple has been married for at least 50 or more years. They are making jokes as they fill out the form.
Drinking problem…hahahaha…Diabetes…hahahaha…What about that time you…hahahahaha…even filling out a form is fun for this couple.
She gets called in. As she walks away she turns back and says, “Why don’t I leave this with you?” handing him her purse. He says, “Okay. Boy it’s heavy.” She says, “Shhhh” and he chuckles.
As I reflect on what it takes to go the distance in marriage and make it to the 50, 60, 70 year finish line I’m immersed in my thoughts of what that takes.
Some make it with…
-
Pure Grit.
Some couples go the distance and neither is truly happy. They grit their teeth and hang on until the end because marriage is forever. And who’s happy in their marriage anyway? Just grin and bear it. Stay together and don’t make any waves—even if you’re drowning.
On a happier note:
People in more satisfying marriages know the art of…
-
Being Present.
This husband in the waiting area is here with his wife. I’m here with my husband. Certainly one of the most important ingredients to a happy ever after is to be present for our beloved.
One of the best gifts we can give our spouse it to be present. Show up for sad things. Show up for happy things. Show up for challenging things. Show up for celebrations. Be there. Be present.
And…
Really happy couples know to…
-
Have Fun Together.
Like this couple filling out the form and laughing. Even though there were a lot of “What? What did you say? I can’t hear you?” it didn’t stop them from having fun together over a task which is usually daunting. There are many ways we can have fun together. Many of us think it should just happen. Fun should just happen spontaneously, we say. And often it does. But sometimes we need to plan it. It’s okay to plan fun. Find something you both enjoy and jump in. Join him for something he enjoys. Join her for her favorite activity.
Tying all three together…
All couples need pure grit. No one makes it to the finish line in marriage without it. But if we want to be happy in our relationships we need more than grit. We need to strategically be present and show up, and when we show up we need to have fun. We can be married and not have fun, but where’s the joy in that?
Find a way this week to be present with your love, and then find a way you can have fun together. A lot of fun.
Heavenly Father, help me to find fun in my marriage. Create in me the desire to be present and engaged with my spouse. Give me the fortitude to love as You have called me to love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
It’s wedding season. Order a copy of From Me to We by Lucille Williams. Already marriage? Her next book The Intimacy You Crave: Straight Talk about Sex and Pancakes is available now on pre-order.
